Thursday, October 29, 2009

Halloween, the worst of the holidays.

I hate to be negative, but here are some reasons why I think that Halloween ranks among the worst of American holidays:

1. I hate having the shit scared out of me.

2. I don't like to mess with anything having to do with the occult. I'm not sure I believe in ghosts or anything supernatural for that matter, but in the event that those things exist, I don't want to fuck with them. Things are going pretty well so far for me, so I really don't want to do anything to piss off some creature from the underworld that is pissed because he lives next door to Hitler.

3. I don't like feeling obligated to dress up to go to a party. If I have a great idea, of course I want to wear it to a party so people laugh and think it's clever, etc. But if I am too busy the few weeks before Halloween to sit there and think about whether or not I want to dress as a pirate, then don't give me the 'party pooper' speech... I will probably drink more than you and have a way better time than you will dressed as the Easter Bunny.

4. It gives creepy people an excuse to act even creepier. No, I don't want your candy.

5. It lacks the X factor that all the other holidays have: Thanksgiving... wonderful food. Christmas... family, presents, food, etc. 4th of July... beach, barbecues, family, etc. You get the point. Halloween has candy, but I am too old to trick or treat so I buy big bags of it from Wal Mart for 11$, which I suppose I could have done any other time of the year.

6. School has caused one factor that never used to be present: exams. Specifically, last opportunity to party before you crack down for the tests you've been putting off all semester. It is definitely a nice opportunity to get it all out of your system, but any of the other holidays could have done that too... Halloween? I just don't like to go out like a bitch.

1 comment: