Lefties

Someone brought this up on the radio the other day after watching Game 1 of the World Series and it basically took the words out of my mouth... mainly because I didn't have anyone around to say this to: Why does everything left-handers do seem smoother/cooler/more natural than righties?

I was watching CC Sabathia's delivery and just kept thinking, wow, it looks like he's not even trying. It seems like that for a lot of lefties... if I could think of some of the smoothest swings in baseball, throwing motions, etc in football... writing, bowling... i guess it applies everywhere... everything they do just seems more natural.

Maybe it's because you see it less often and so you're not as critical of ticks in a swing or throwing motion... or maybe it's a "grass is always greener" type of deal. Like, every right handed ballplayer wishes he was lefty, so he subconsciously ignores defects. Is that ridiculous?

As far as I know (which admittedly isn't far), there's no physical difference between righties and lefties except that they favor opposite sides. I've heard the argument that lefties' pitches tail out more... but I think that's a bunch of crap...you're just used to every ball you've ever caught moving slightly right (left to you).

I wonder if lefties feel the same way. I mean, they are left handed so maybe used to it... but they never see themselves throw. They are just as used to seeing right handed pitches as everyone else.... maybe a lefty could fill us in on that.

Does anyone agree with this? disagree? I just can't picture a right handed batter swinging like Ken Griffey Jr...

A break from studies...and maturity.

It is one month and two days before my first final. I'm sitting in my usual spot, earplugs in, contemplating the various theories of Art III standing. My mind drifts away for a second, and I begin to think **Damn, I am old...and boring. I used to enjoy playing sports, drinking, dancing; hell, I enjoyed a lot of things. Now I cringe at the thought of taking my eyes away from this prison cell know as a computer screen. What have I become? Will I ever be "me" again?** My contemplation is broken by a loud noise. It must have been those damn chair legs on the second floor.

I refocus on the screen....there it is again! only this time, I knew it wasn't a chair leg. It was something way more familiar...more melodic. A symphony of human biology and lack of self control.

Vvvvvurrrrppp!

I turn around to find my classmates red faced and hunched over in laughter. I too join in. The seal had been broken, the unthinkable had been done! Not once but twice, a fart brought about by the combination of Dr. Pepper, Red-Man Chewing Tobacco, and Sunflower Seeds made the once silent library the funniest place on earth for 3 guys and the most awkward place on earth for the rest.

No matter how far removed I stray from the boy I once was, an inappropriate fart is still HILARIOUS!

Favorite fictional characters

Huddled up on the second floor of the library, staring blankly at labor law notes, a mere 40 days away from the exam, I've come to the realization that my current nighttime routine wasn't exactly stolen from Rick James' playbook. As soon as class is over, I hit the cubicle for a grind that will last until 10 or so, then catch a jog if I'm lucky, then grab some grub, then sleep, then do it all over again. Someone tell Bill Murray I feel his pain.

When I'm not studying, or whining about studying, I can't help but think of who or where I'd rather be. Here goes...

5. Vince from "Entourage." He dominates life. Women want him, and (as shown by this post) men want to be him. He's totally hollywood, but is still a humble enough guy to let his best buds and bro mooch off of his success. Nothing but respect for Vinny here.

4. Bennie "the Jet" Rodriguez from "The Sandlot." This one is somewhat of a courtesy throwback to my adolescence, but the guy does have it all -- skills, a mustache and PF Flyers. However, despite the well established principle that "chicks dig the longball," it was my boy Squintz, not the Jet, who scored with Wendy Peffercorn.

3. Bockrath. Wait, he's real?

2. David St. Hubbins from Spinal Tap -- "What's not to love about us? Afterall, we do have armadillos rummaging around in our trousers."

1. Will Hunting from "Good Will Hunting." If I were him, I could write more, for I'd be done reading for labor, as well as every other class a long time ago.

However, I'm not, and that means it's time to get back to reality.

Halloween, the worst of the holidays.

I hate to be negative, but here are some reasons why I think that Halloween ranks among the worst of American holidays:

1. I hate having the shit scared out of me.

2. I don't like to mess with anything having to do with the occult. I'm not sure I believe in ghosts or anything supernatural for that matter, but in the event that those things exist, I don't want to fuck with them. Things are going pretty well so far for me, so I really don't want to do anything to piss off some creature from the underworld that is pissed because he lives next door to Hitler.

3. I don't like feeling obligated to dress up to go to a party. If I have a great idea, of course I want to wear it to a party so people laugh and think it's clever, etc. But if I am too busy the few weeks before Halloween to sit there and think about whether or not I want to dress as a pirate, then don't give me the 'party pooper' speech... I will probably drink more than you and have a way better time than you will dressed as the Easter Bunny.

4. It gives creepy people an excuse to act even creepier. No, I don't want your candy.

5. It lacks the X factor that all the other holidays have: Thanksgiving... wonderful food. Christmas... family, presents, food, etc. 4th of July... beach, barbecues, family, etc. You get the point. Halloween has candy, but I am too old to trick or treat so I buy big bags of it from Wal Mart for 11$, which I suppose I could have done any other time of the year.

6. School has caused one factor that never used to be present: exams. Specifically, last opportunity to party before you crack down for the tests you've been putting off all semester. It is definitely a nice opportunity to get it all out of your system, but any of the other holidays could have done that too... Halloween? I just don't like to go out like a bitch.